Category: Personal

Resolving 2024

Posted on by Erin of the Hills

Dawn. A cool, clear dawn, with strands of coral cloud parting like old wool to allow the sun to rise through them.

Morgan Llywelyn, Bard

Holy moly we only have two more weeks left to go until 2024. Is anyone else in shock? Anyone else think it’s still actually September because there is no way it’s December 17th? No? Just me? Cool, cool.

It has been a hell of a Fall and beginning of Winter for our household. I think I’m on cold number 4 since September, as are my husband and the kids. For all the amazing moments we get with young kids, the constant illness is definitely a drain on the system.

So, I’m giving myself the gift of the last two weeks of December off from work and writing commitments. Now, that doesn’t mean I can’t schedule some blog posts for the new year if I feel like it but I’m not going to stress myself out trying to post one every Sunday (or beat myself up when some weeks aren’t possible). Merry Christmas to me!

I couldn’t go out without posting my annual Resolution post though. So here it is. May it serve, if nothing else, as a reminder that resolutions are wonderful but not required. If your year turns out to look differently than you planned in a flurry of productivity at the beginning…that’s OK! I think the point is to commit to growing every year, even if we end up growing in ways which are unforeseen.

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Solidarity Sunday: Nostalgia

Posted on by Erin of the Hills

In life you have to learn to count the good days. You have to tuck them in your pocket and carry them around with you.”

Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

I’m not sure if I’ve used this quote in an earlier blog post and apologies if I have (I’m far too lazy to go back and check) but god I love the thought of carrying the good days around with me for when I need them most.

Now, I know I’m incredibly lucky in the beautiful life I have. There are far too many people in this world suffering in truly horrific ways and I am certainly not one of them. That being said, I do have my struggles and some days I feel inexplicably down despite all my numerous blessings. And I’m learning to be OK with these lows because without them the highs would seem infinitely less so.

As part of this process of becoming comfortable with my various emotions, I’ve learned to savour the moments in my life which are undeniably happy. Having been thoroughly enjoyed, I do tend to tuck these moments away and recall then when I’m feeling sad or hopeless. They really do help me to climb out of these dark ruts and back towards the light.

But what about the title of this post, you say. Isn’t nostalgia different than a positive memory? You’re right, brilliant reader. It is. Nostalgia is defined as a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition. Usually this means a sanitized and likely inaccurate memory of a time when everything was simpler and worry-free. So not quite the same thing as a genuinely happy experience which you tuck away for future comfort.

But what about when nostalgia and pure joy collide? That, my friend, is the sweet spot. And something I experienced just this past week…read on for a tale of unbridled joy and much-needed music therapy. And a little life lesson, lovingly offered, for good measure.

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Solidarity Sunday #17: Struggle

Posted on by Erin of the Hills

We live each day as if it were merely a rehearsal for the next.

Muriel Barbery, The Elegance of the Hedgehog

Do you ever feel as if at the end of every day, no matter what you have gotten up to, you didn’t manage to do much at all? As if time has moved forward but you have not?

In this age of infinite productivity, it’s hard to truly relax without constantly thinking about all you should be getting done. At least that’s what I struggle with most.

When I’m feeling overwrought mentally, for whatever reason, I get stuck in this space of wanting to check things off my never-ending list to keep myself distracted and yet being unable to find the motivation to do so because, well, I’m overwrought already.

It’s like I know what I want my day to look like and how to spend it in such a way that will be most helpful for my mental health but instead I spend said day merely rehearsing in preparation for when I will really live the day I wish to…which is not helpful or productive.

So what am I trying to say? Well, I’ve been struggling lately, and I know I’m likely not alone in this. So I thought I would write about what it feels like to be in this rehearsal mode and how I’m hoping to get out of it. I hope, at the very least, this might help someone out there to feel less alone. Because in this world filled with over 8 billion other souls you are never, ever truly alone. I hope that is a comforting thought rather than a creepy one…

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Solidarity Sunday #16 – Perspective

Posted on by Erin of the Hills

Life is the most wonderful fairy tale.

Hans Christian Anderson

Now, I already know what you’re thinking when you read that quote (I know, presumptive of me, right?). You’re thinking…Wait, Erin, life is most definitely not a fairy tale. Fairy tales end at the Happily Ever After and we never see what comes after. Real life is everything that comes after with all the struggles, challenges, disappointments and suffering that comes with it.

I mean, Hans Christian Anderson’s “fairy tales” were notoriously dark so…hopefully he didn’t mean that kind of tale. But I digress.

Hang with me for a second.

Because it’s thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, but not only because it’s thanksgiving, how about we try shifting our perspective on life a little bit. Because, yes, life can be hard (and much harder for some than others often because of circumstances completely outside their control). But it can also be delightfully, deliriously beautiful. Much like a fairy tale.

Having had a rough week with a sick preschooler and a teething infant, I desperately needed this reminder right now.

So, let’s shift our thinking and see if we can’t find the fairy tale aspects of our lives, shall we?

Once Upon a Time…

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How do I know I’m a Writer?

Posted on by Erin of the Hills

A writer is a world trapped in a person

Victor Hugo

I’ve decided that one post a month is going to be dedicated to something writerly. So, with a Solidarity Sunday, Reading Roundup, Travelogue and this that would be 4 posts a month which is admirable…no? At least until the kids start school in earnest, I think this is the most I can commit to.

So, for my first dedicated writerly post (though I’ve written about the importance of writing in my life before) I decided I would answer the eternal question: how do I know I’m a writer when I’ve never been traditionally published?

Well, strap in dear reader. Because I have some thoughts.

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Solidarity Sunday #15: Self Love

Posted on by Erin of the Hills

In life you have to learn to count the good days. You have to tuck them in your pocket and carry them around with you.

Richard Osman, The Thursday Murder Club

My goodness, it has been quite a while since I wrote a Solidarity Sunday. I thought for a time that I would retire this series since, well, hopefully the pandemic is well and truly behind us (for the most part). However, who says we all still can’t use some solidarity once in a while? Our world is certainly crazy enough right now to call for it…

So, I’m going to continue this series for the foreseeable future. I mean, let’s face it, we aren’t going to be living in a perfect utopic paradise any time soon.

I’ll tell you what. The day we solve climate change, gender inequality, all the nefarious isms, hunger, violence, poverty, and homelessness…I’ll consider this series retired.

Now, let’s move from the big picture to the detailed and talk about the most personal subject of all: Self Love.

Do butterflies struggle with self-love? Doubtful. (Photo: ErinoftheHills)
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A Childhood Wish

Posted on by Erin of the Hills

Childhood fears and childhood wishes never lost their power. At the moment you were certain they’d been set aside, they rose up unexpectedly and took you just as strongly as they had before, as though reminding you that no one ever truly left the past behind.

Susanna Kearsley, Bellewether

Interestingly, this post could just have easily been titled “A Childhood Fear” as more often than not, one is the reason the other is put aside. If your childhood wish is to travel the world, your fear of flying must be pushed through to achieve this. Conversely, if your childhood fear is public speaking, your childhood wish to become Prime Minister (or President) may be forgotten.

But this doesn’t mean the one pushed aside is gone forever. Severe turbulence on your way to visit Thailand may bring back all those nightmares of plummeting from 35,000 feet high while toastmasters combined with a particularly disappointing performance by an elected leader may reignite the desire to do your part to change the world through public office.

You just never know where life may take you.

Where am I going with all this, you might ask? Well, grab yourself a hot drink and a cozy blanket (or a cold drink and a hammock if you’re living anywhere near me) because we have a lot of catching up to do.

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Finding Joy in Winter

Posted on by Erin of the Hills

There was something else, some current of joy that ran among the members of the family, unseen but lively as electricity.

Diana Gabaldon, Drums of Autumn

I’ve always been told that January is a dark month. Not only literally due to the overall lack of sunlight but emotionally, all of us pushing through the deep, discouraging cold of Canadian winters to the promise of warmth and new hope in the Spring.

Now, I’ll admit, there have indeed been some hard winters in my life. Those depressingly cold and lonely months in the depths of the pandemic (yes, still not over, but there is finally light at the end of that particular tunnel), the winter I was trying to decide whether or not to leave my cushy office job for the hopefully-better-for-my-mental-health unknown, the winter I spent far away from my family and friends in Holland (OK, that one was not all bad).

Even in the easier winters, there have been dark times. It’s hard not to feel a bit depressed when the sun goes down before you’ve even broken free from your work day. Though I may be a self-professed night owl, I still need a good dose of vitamin D on the daily to keep myself sane. As one who finds inspiration staying up far later than is advisable for today’s get-up-and-go lifestyle, mornings are made even harder without the brilliant sun coaxing even the most tired of creatures (me) out of bed. I’ve never been a fan of waking up to more darkness. Is anyone?

However, even with all that said, I’ve got to say…This January (already half over!) has hardly been dark at all, despite the lack of daylight hours.

Don’t believe me? Read on for some things I’m finding myself grateful for this January – and maybe you’ll find something to be grateful for too.

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Resolving 2023

Posted on by Erin of the Hills

Embrace the glorious mess that you are

Elizabeth Gilbert

So, it’s 2023. It’s 2023! Where did 2022 go? Anyone else feeling a bit discombobulated on this, the first day of the new year?

It has been 11 months since I last posted something here. Eleven whole months. When I spoke that out loud to my husband this morning I could hardly believe it. And yet, here we are.

When I was trying to think of why I hadn’t sat down to write in so long (despite my usual New Year’s resolution to do so every single day…or, at least more often) it only took one quick glance to my left at the peacefully snoring little one there to remind me why.

I didn’t write much at all last year because, well, I wasn’t feeling up to it. Why, you might ask? Well…because most of my energy was necessarily taken up in the act of growing the newest member of our family. Eleanor Rita Roberta Gurski Savoie was born two weeks early on October 14th, 2022, coming swiftly into this world after a mere 5 hours of labour. Of course, we are over the moon (as is her big sister Aria) but as pregnancies are not easy for me, the worthy cause of giving her life was pretty much all I could handle for 10 months. Well, that and making sure her older sister also had all the food, sleep, fun and love she needs and deserves every single day.

But here I am, again. I will always return to writing, no matter what life throws at me. Writing is a part of me, a big part, and something I miss terribly when I’m not doing it. However, as a wise friend recently reminded me, there are seasons for everything in life and perhaps being a mother of two young ones is not the season in which I will do the most writing. And that is OK.

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Solidarity Sunday #14: Miscommunications

Posted on by Erin of the Hills

It seems a common human failing to prefer the schematic authority of a text to the disorientations of direct encounters with the human

Edward Said, Orientalism

How many months are we into this pandemic? How many years? I’m honestly not sure at this point but I think it is roughly as old as my daughter so 2? Or just about? Years that is…

If you’re even remotely in the same headspace as me, it feels like the past 2 years (did I get that right…?) have been one never-ending screening of groundhog day.

With one main exception.

No, I’m not talking about the lack of Bill Murray’s dry sense of humour. I mean, I’m sure most of us have developed a similar outlook on life over the course of this constant strain on our psyches. I’m also sure that most of us have had the desire to run outside at some point yelling WHAT ABOUT BOB?! … er… ME?!

Oh, right, wrong Bill Murray movie.

But I digress

This little guy gets a bad rap. How is he responsible for winter’s length? Photo by Doug Brown on Pexels.com
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