writing – Erin of the Hills

Things that have Never Been

Posted on June 22, 2025June 15, 2025 by Erin of the Hills

And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

OK, OK, I know it’s not the new year. But it kind of is in a sense for me. I’ve restarted my exercise regime for the first time since my 2.5-year-old was born and it feels amazing. I’m also writing at a minimum twice a week now which has not happened consistently since before kids.

And I’m reading. Oh, I’m reading up a storm.

Not only am I reading, dear reader, but I’m reading with a promise to review. Yes, I finally signed up for Netgalley. Nothing like a social commitment to challenge oneself.

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Done Questioning

Posted on June 15, 2025June 15, 2025 by Erin of the Hills

Do not let what you think they think of you make you stop and question everything you are.

Carrie Fisher

I’m not sure what your opinion on the late, great Carrie Fisher is. Despite having found her tweets incredibly confounding, what long-form writing of hers I was exposed to really stayed with me. Postcards from the Edge might be the first book I’ve ever read where the author’s voice truly struck me as unique.

Now…this may say more about where I was in my reading journey and life overall at the time than being any kind of disparaging comment on anything I had read previously but…I digress.

The point is, whether she meant this or not, in reading that book I truly felt as if Ms. Fisher herself was speaking to me – trying to explain something about who she was and what her seemingly glamorous life was or had been like. It went beyond memoir or autobiography, despite being fiction. Like cracking open a soul.

Her book confirmed what I had already surmised: I wanted to write and I wanted to write in my own voice – not one that was prescribed to me.

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A Bookish Atmosphere

Posted on April 8, 2025 by Erin of the Hills

This place has atmosphere, different from a bookshop with just new books. In here you sense the weight of time stretching way back to the past.

Michiko Aoyama, What You Are Looking For is in The Library

I’ve always found that for both writing and reading, atmosphere is important to me. Now, this is not to say that I can only read or write in a specific location. Only that to fully focus my creative mind, I need to feel comfortable in my surroundings.

When we first saw the house we now call home, back in January, it was not initially what I thought we had been looking for. Most of the houses we had looked at leading up to this one had been just out of town with at least an acre of land (one actually had 5!) They were my vision of an oasis of tranquility where we could escape just a little from the frantic pace of modern life.

Having looked at all these beautiful country homes, we decided to check this one out for a very specific reason. I had grown up only a 5-minute walk from my elementary school and I remember truly loving being so close…especially as someone who has never been a morning person and for whom mornings were less than tranquil. This house would give the girls the same experience growing up but it was far from the secluded country retreat I had been dreaming about. Regardless, it seemed to be perfectly situated for the kids on a quiet cul-de-sac close to not only their school but also the walking path, fair grounds and library. And that meant something.

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A Glimpse

Posted on March 23, 2025March 22, 2025 by Erin of the Hills

For years I functioned fairly well in the world, but I had an underlying sense that I was fooling people, and I was driven to achieve in order to counter that suspicion. And when I was with other people, would avoid dropping my guard out of fear that they would glimpse the real me and blow my whole act to pieces. – No Bad Parts, Richard C. Schwartz PhD.

Have you ever read something so heart wrenchingly personal that you immediately feel the writer was actually addressing you? It’s happened to me before but never as intensely as when I read that quote above. I’m still a little shaken by it, to be honest. It could have been written by me.

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Marvels and Possibilities

Posted on June 2, 2024 by Erin of the Hills

And then another thought floated in there, sneaking in while I was feeling so open to wonders and marvels and possibilities: maybe that means there’s a path for me too, a plan that won’t fail, and I just haven’t found it yet. – Shauna Robinson, The Banned Bookshop of Maggie Banks

Hello dear readers. It’s been a while.

When I look at how long ago I published my last post (January), I feel a shudder of disappointment in myself and my lack of commitment to this corner of the internet that I have so lovingly built. As these waves of self-doubt start to overwhelm me, I have to fight to keep my head above these murky waters and remind myself that it’s OK. I am OK. No, wait, I’m better than OK. And I’ll tell you why.

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Reading Roundup: September 2023

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Erin of the Hills

She rocked a little forward and back in her chair, her mind chasing this thought, then dashing after another.
Renée Gendron, The Ninth Star

I’ll be honest, September was not the most focused of months for me. It’s our first time really having the “back to school” experience as my eldest was returning to preschool for her 2nd and final year and it was…a transition to put it lightly. Sleep has been off, behaviour has been challenging and I’ve been just all-around exhausted.

Perhaps counter-intuitively, when I’m tired reading is usually the last thing I want to do. That does not mean that I don’t find reading relaxing – I do. However, I also need at least some mental energy in order to properly immerse myself in the worlds being painted in the authors’ words – that’s just how I have always approached reading. So, when my mental energy is low, I don’t tend to reach for a book. Does that sound strange? Maybe. But it’s just the type of reader I am and I have come to terms with this.

So, all that being said, if my reading total seems low this month…this is why! Let’s get on with it, shall we?

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How do I know I’m a Writer?

Posted on September 24, 2023September 23, 2023 by Erin of the Hills

A writer is a world trapped in a person
Victor Hugo

I’ve decided that one post a month is going to be dedicated to something writerly. So, with a Solidarity Sunday, Reading Roundup, Travelogue and this that would be 4 posts a month which is admirable…no? At least until the kids start school in earnest, I think this is the most I can commit to.

So, for my first dedicated writerly post (though I’ve written about the importance of writing in my life before) I decided I would answer the eternal question: how do I know I’m a writer when I’ve never been traditionally published?

Well, strap in dear reader. Because I have some thoughts.

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Reading Roundup: August 2023

Posted on August 27, 2023August 26, 2023 by Erin of the Hills

A flare of hope shot up inside her, a sudden bright puff like the lighting of a gas stove.
Diana Gabaldon, Drums of Autumn

It may not seem like much to the casual reader but…I truly cannot believe the streak I am on in terms of publishing posts on this blog. I mean, if I’m being honest (and why wouldn’t I be since this is easy enough for anyone to fact check), it has been years since I have been this consistent with my writing. Years.

Dare I hope that my spark is back?

I think I will dare. After all, better to hope than to prematurely despair.

Speaking of streaks…Here I go publishing my monthly reading roundup on time! And since it’s not a catchup post, it will be nice and short. You’re welcome!

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A Childhood Wish

Posted on July 30, 2023July 27, 2023 by Erin of the Hills

Childhood fears and childhood wishes never lost their power. At the moment you were certain they’d been set aside, they rose up unexpectedly and took you just as strongly as they had before, as though reminding you that no one ever truly left the past behind.
Susanna Kearsley, Bellewether

Interestingly, this post could just have easily been titled “A Childhood Fear” as more often than not, one is the reason the other is put aside. If your childhood wish is to travel the world, your fear of flying must be pushed through to achieve this. Conversely, if your childhood fear is public speaking, your childhood wish to become Prime Minister (or President) may be forgotten.

But this doesn’t mean the one pushed aside is gone forever. Severe turbulence on your way to visit Thailand may bring back all those nightmares of plummeting from 35,000 feet high while toastmasters combined with a particularly disappointing performance by an elected leader may reignite the desire to do your part to change the world through public office.

You just never know where life may take you.

Where am I going with all this, you might ask? Well, grab yourself a hot drink and a cozy blanket (or a cold drink and a hammock if you’re living anywhere near me) because we have a lot of catching up to do.

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Reading Roundup: November 2021 – January 2022

Posted on February 6, 2022 by Erin of the Hills

I noticed years ago that when people (myself definitely included) are anxious they tend to busy themselves with irrelevant activities, because these distract from and therefore reduce their actual experience of anxiety. To stay perfectly still is to feel the fear at its maximum intensity, so instead you scuttle around doing things as though you are, in some mysterious way, short of time.
John Cleese, So, Anyway…

Yet again, something I read resonated in such a visceral way that it could only have possibly been written just for me…or so I felt!

Though, perhaps this quote doesn’t just speak to me. Perhaps, just maybe, so many of us have been feeling the need to keep as busy as possible (mostly on our phones) over the past two years in order to avoid as much as we can the pervasive anxiety brought on by living through a global pandemic.

I know my own pandemic experience is not everyone’s but I have definitely realized over the last month or so of reflection that while I likely have more time now than I would have in more normal circumstances (even if I only take into account our lack of social outings), it feels like I am constantly running out of it.

Yes, I know, parenting is busy and I have heard time and again from parents that they don’t know what they did with all their time before they had kids. And they’re not wrong, I definitely feel that. But the absence of playdates, activities, dinners with friends, appointments, etc. etc. etc. should, logically, mean that even with kids to look after…we have more free time, no? So why in heaven’s name does every day fly by at the speed of light and end with me thinking I’ve accomplished nothing?

I agree with Mr. Cleese. I likely feel this way because I’ve spent all day focusing on largely irrelevant tasks in order to distract myself from the overwhelming anxiety of making it through this pandemic with my health, sanity and relationships still intact. No wonder my phone is never out of sight… Homescapes, after all, manages to feel productive while being nothing of the sort. I mean, I am helping Austin renovate a house after all. Who cares if my real life house is a mess??

I’m not sure if this counts as irrelevant task or not, but I have been somehow keeping up with my rather intense pace of article and blog reading (though perhaps at the expense of my ability to get through books in a timely manner…) and thus, without further ado, I will share with you all of the wonderful bits of less-than-immediately-relevant information that I have stuffed in my brain in an effort to crowd out the anxiety.

Did this method work? … I’ll get back to you on that.

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